These are some of the pics we took while hanging out at the Brooklyn Museum this past weekend. (For some reason Picasa went and made two of them teeny tiny. Sorry about that.)
The best part of our half hour there? Ruby ran and ran and ran in that water and normally the security guards yell at you over the loudspeaker system for doing that. It's hard keeping the kids out--there are no barriers, it's a huge puddle and there is no sign saying that you're not allowed to go in. For some reason a security guard just inside the building choose, clearly on purpose, not to enforce it. I could see him *not* looking our way!
Before going in Ruby and I talked about risking this rule. We've had that conversation before. There are times when rules are rules and they make sense. There are times that rules are silly or weird but it's important to respect them anyways. And there are times when you can try breaking the rule, and then you have to figure out when to comply (in this case we agreed that she would get out as soon as the loudspeaker starting blaring) or not.
It's murky territory, I admit. But there are so many ambiguous things about how to be and what to be in society and I don't want to shy away from those issues just because they could confuse her. So far she's managed the ambiguity pretty well; lets see how she manages on her own in school...!
5 comments:
yup, that certainly will be interesting. somehow I think she'll manage fine in school, once over the "first impressions" period. knowing her mum she might even question some rules... juts keep your fingers crossed that she has a comprehensive teacher !
love, mamie
Good advice -- interesting thing is those conversations really stick, more than one expects. Riki and I had such conversations about the police. How to square his encounters with the police in our neighborhood with the images of cops battling strikers in a youtube video of Solidarity Forever?
I think the trick is to be very honest with yourself -- no poses, just what you really think in very simple terms -- and to always leave room for them to determine what they think (obviously not something they will do until much older).
I agree Matt. That honesty is exactly why I choose to open up the "rules" can of worms. We were at a city pool and they have more rules than anyone can possibly keep track of. So the lifeguards are constantly berating everyone w their whistles. Drove me nuts and Ruby picked up on that and that's where it all started! Not quite as exciting as it starting because of a demo or some other act of socialist defiance that she witnessed ;-)
Aye, rules and how to deal with them is one of the toughest things in parenting. And isn't it fascinating to see how the little ones are struggling with them from the first? I remember when Jakob (now almost 5) was barely crawling and was already endlessly absorbed by trying to figure out exactly what lines we had drawn in our flat, where he could go, and how far he could push us. On the other hand there are days when I am certain that they both (David is now almost 3) are almost relieved when we enforce some rules strictly, like for example going to bed time. I mean, they still try to test it to the limit... but they seem strangely content when they have discovered that no really meant no.
And yeah, water also holds endless fascination. Lakes, ponds, or simply the tap and sink at home, it seems that it never ceases to intrigue.
As for honesty - isn't that the first rule about anything in family life? Stay open and honest, with yourself, your kids and your partner, and what remains are at worst "problems" that can be tackled and solved. Start posing or hiding, and they mount up to something that blots out the sun.
By the way, best wishes from Berlin. Hope you three are very well. ;)
Martin
it's me again ... as you know we daily check the blog. and every time I open it the bottom bar of the screen is at Ruby's waist - with a sheet of water in the background. real weird : as if she is wading waist high through water !!!
hugs, mams
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