Parenthood is such an overwhelming challenge. It's hard. You are faced with contradictions and who the fuck really knows what to do with them, you know? Run away from them? When can you find the time to face them anyways? I mean come on.

There I said it. And I said it without the usual preface of, "of course I love my kid, don't get me wrong."

All this to say that I've been thinking about this blog and what I want it to be for myself. Because, to be honest, it annoys me that mostly it's been something for other people, namely a way to keep my families and friends (many so far away) up to date with pictures and stories of Ruby.

Being predictably short on time and focus, it's also become a (public) diary of sorts. I save all my posts in a word document and plan to pass them on to Ruby. I like knowing that many of the things that I'll forget so soon about her emerging personality are being recorded in some incomplete form.

All that is just fine, but I need more. I need some space for my politics. As a parent. As a socialist. As a socialist parent raising a kid in Brooklyn. Am American kid. And why not just say it out loud?

Not that I'm going to find this easy. Writing political stuff is a tall order for me these days. Besides articles for Labor Notes I just haven't written much at all in a long time. And to do it publicly--with such a mixed audience--that's an even bigger deal.

I want to be one of those parents that says out loud how difficult parenting is. Have you ever noticed how it's okay for men to complain about their kids without a "of I course I love my kids, don't get me wrong" preamble? Now that's screwed up and that's why I want to try to join the savvy (albeit politically mixed) community of "mommy" bloggers (thanks to my friend Kate for introducing me to some of these bloggers) and publicly write about the ups (because I do love my kid of course) and downs of my newly found parenthood.

We'll see. Sometimes it's easier to just keep on running.