I've found it tough lately to squeeze in the little extra time needed to take pictures and write blog posts. More of the same mostly--work, constant scheduling challenges between our two activist jobs, travel and my increased slow but steady reinsertion back into Solidarity. Mix in that Ruby will still not stand still for one singe second for a picture and what you get it blurriness.

But it's an okay blurriness. It's the work spilling over into the rest of our days, it's Ruby spilling into our free time or political activism, and it's the world taking out a chunk of time too (economic crisis, presidential elections, to just name a few). I feel lucky to have such loose boundaries between work, home, and my activist place in this shaky era of capitalism. And while I sure could use a little more time to myself and with David, you all know me, I'm happier being busy and challenged and energetic--even if that means a tad less time for the blog these days.

One important milestone has crept by lately though, and that's the fact that Ruby has, it seems, stopped nursing. In the last few months she only nursed before naps or bedtime. But if she didn't ask, I wouldn't remind her. Slowly but surely she stopped asking every time. Throw in the fact that David has been putting her to bed more lately because I now go to work two nights a week after David gets home and I also have more evening meetings, and it just seems like it slipped off the agenda. Last time she nursed was probably about 10 days ago.

I'm not sure how I feel about it. I was definitely ready to quit, already months ago. But I didn't feel that strongly about it and I also liked the connection it continued to give me. That little moment when time would stop and I could stare at her face or stroke her hair or play with her fingers. It provided the context for one of the few words Ruby pronounced in French, namely "l'autre cote."

Above all though I am happy that it was a natural part of my life with Ruby. I am thankful that we never had any problems with nursing from the get-go. And the way it slowly disappeared felt very natural and calm. I pushed just a tad for less nursing, but never more than I thought Ruby was ready for. I followed her cues and as far as I can tell she felt comfortable asking for more or less within that framework.

I truly hope that Ruby and I will find that balance and calm around other issues as they come up in our lives together, starting with this bluriness of late.

PS. The outfit is a huge success Mamsie! It received many compliments today.