You other parents out there tell me if you recognize this. Ruby has, I think, been struggling with her connections to the people in her life. Unfortunately she can't just come out and say that. But she has been showing some signs that this is what has been going on in her brain.
At first, starting maybe a month ago, she started lashing out at David. Either verbally ("David's mad at me," she said one day, or she yells at him a lot about everything and nothing) or physically. It's like she's trying to keep people at a distance at times, by yelling, ordering them, or hitting, but then a few moments later she wants a hug or draws them into a game with her. She's talking a lot about who she likes and doesn't. She's focusing for the most part on the people who have a regular day to day part in her life.
I'm assuming that social relationships is a concept that one has to learn. At what age does it start and what does it look like--although I am sure it the way a toddler grapples with it varies widely depending on the toddler?
3 comments:
Hallo Marsha!
Dit klinkt als een typische peuter die de grenzen opzoekt. In mijn ervaring krijgt diegene die een peuter weinig of inconsequente grenzen stelt het zwaar te verduren. Hetzelfde kind gedraagt zich bij iemand anders, die strenger of consequenter is, heel anders. Zie je misschien verschil bij verschillende mensen?
Groetjes,
Tom
Hoi Marsha,
Het lijkt er op dat Ruby enerzijds dingen aan het uitproberen is, kijken hoe er gereageerd wordt op gedrag dat ze bij andere mensen en kinderen ziet en dat is het veiligst bij mensen die je goed kent.
Anderzijds is het misschien wat ze ook wel de "peuterpubertijd" noemen, een fase waarin ze ontdekt dat ze ook een persoon is, los van haar ouders, en de grenzen van haar gedrag onderzoekt.
Zoals Tom al zei, w.s. gezond peutergedrag!
Antwoord: Gezond ouderlijk gedrag!
Was alles maar zo simpel.... (huh huh)
Liefs en hugs
Karin
Salut,
I think I agree with Karin and Tom : she's discovering a whole, wide new world PLUS she's discovering that things change when she's says NO or I don't want that. Problem is how far can you go? what is accepted? and what is not? She's just trying out. Fair enough and it'll pass... and she'll learn.
BUT I want to add something very important : we (Papy and Mamie)have always admired your common sense and relaxed attitude versus Ruby. Yours as well as David's. Try to keep that up and just do what your heart and your reflections about what is right, tell you to do.
Ruby is a very stable and happy child and that is largely due to your upbringing, so bravo and just continue.
Big hug for all 3 of you, M.
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