Wow, huh?! The day before we went to get her hair cut she said she wanted it short. I tried to help her make a thoughtful decision, explaining how she wouldn't be able to have pigtails like her aunt Jaya or Pippi Longstocking. Well, she said, "Maybe short in the front and long in the back then." Fine, even though I'm not a big fan of bangs with long hair (sorry Jaya).

But on our way there she declared she wanted it all short. So while she was playing with the train set (this hair salon is a toy shop too) I found some books of kids haircuts and showed her what short hair would look like. She still wanted it short and so off it went! And everyone loves it. She's pretty laid-back about it. "Mama, everyone likes it, but just enough."

***

There's still a lot of snow around and icy too, so Ruby has been in the backpack a lot. I love it, because we get to have these amazingly interesting conversations. This morning on the way to school we talked about how language doesn't have perfectly good words for the sounds birds make. She didn't think "chirping" really cut it for most of the city birds we could hear on our way through the quieter streets.

And then it jumped to breakfast, don't ask me why. "Mama, David makes better french toast than you do. He just does. But you were lucky you were allowed to make me french toast this morning." Yeah, what was lucky is that I didn't know that my french toast just doesn't cut it before I made it this morning!

But the best chat was on our way home. She told me that she wanted me to bring her back a pink princess and mermaid who live in a submarine from Charleston (where I'll be for work most of next week) as a present. I asked her why she likes princesses so much and wanted to specifically know what she likes about them. Are they kind? Curious? Generous? Do they care about workers? You all know what I was trying to get at. Ruby was unfazed when I declared that I am sure we could probably find some mean princesses out there. Nope, she wouldn't be deterred from wanting to be a princess.

A few moments later she teased me by sticking her freezing cold hands down the back of my neck. I pretend jumped in the air and told her she was making me so cold. She laughed her head off and told me, 'Mama, I am being a *mean* princess!"

***

When I was looking through the pictures of neat haircuts for kids, all fake and sticky from the gel and blow drying, I was amazed--I never learn do I?--that there were very few cuts for girls that didn't involve the classic bob cut that Ruby now has too.

Ruby has started talking about being pretty and being a princess a lot lately. She wants to do ballet. She clearly is starting to piece together an image of what a girl should be and do. It's thankfully still all over the map. She wants short hair and it's just not a big deal. While she likes pink, what she really loves is all kinds of different colors that she layers in all kinds of ways. And when she wanted to be a princess for christmas she happily allowed us to find her secondhand women's glittery shirts and a simple headband as an appropriate costume.

But she also told me that mamas aren't pretty. That's a big deal. I think it's more than what I look like as a mama compared to other moms. I don't think it's just about me and the fact that I'm not a mom who dresses up and wears makeup. I think she's already bought into some basic concepts about womanhood. Pretty girls/women are not the kind that give birth. Who knows what words she would attach to all this and how deep this goes, but it went deep enough that I'm gettng ready to do some serious feminist reading and exploring again in the next little while!